The Official Journal of the Zombie-Snake Lady

I was just discussing this woman with a friend earlier today, and while searching online, I managed to find one of the few existing picture of Grace Olive Wiley, "The Cobra Queen". She kept and "tamed" over 300 venomous snakes, feeling most fond of king cobras (as pictured). She died at 64 of a fatal Indian Cobra bite (though originally, I thought it was a little older). One must admit, handling venomous snakes the way you would a rat snake or python and living at all is pretty impressive. Can anyone see how I might end up some day?;)

My journals and music (created by me). Sure, they wouldn't sell for anything, but they're irreplaceable.

I have nothing creative or interesting for you that you probably already haven't heard. Yes, I'm doing venomous. Yes, I have a boa on the loose in my room and woke up with her in my face last night. I've been working, cleaning, playing when I have time and money. I am so broke that today, when I went to use my card to buy a soda that didn't even cost $1.00, I got declined. That's fucking sad. Luckily, there is food at the house, and tomorrow is payday, and then I get to go out and dress up and play and possibly initiate some chaos. A friend of mine once said she'd rather create than wait for karma. I'm somewhat the same as in I'd rather help it along just a bit. But that's all unimportant. I want to see Combichrist in May.

Some of you may or may not know of my new Sunday activities (the main reason why Saturday night partying is now non-existent). I've started up my lessons in order to obtain my venomous license... again. The person I'm working with every Sunday has a relatively large collection of pit vipers, including the wonderful, wonderful Mojave rattlesnakes, plus a Puff Adder that loves to stare you down as you walk by her tank. His next shipment coming in are baby Gaboon and Rhinocerous vipers, and then Common, monocle, and Egyptian cobras, which will be my main focus from then on. So far I've handled 14 baby Western Diamondbacks, plus the few I handled in my first attempt at lessons (a pygmy rattler, north pacific rattler, and canebrake rattler). I'm really excited about this finally taking off. It means I'll actually earn a certificate saying that I can do something that not a whole lot of other people can do. It's not a degree, but it means just as much to me as a Ph.D. does to others. This also means that my weekends are pretty much booked. I'll be making an appearance at spooky-night this Friday to see April spin (which I am also excited about). Being out late, drinking and doing whatever on a Saturday however, is no more unless I have the following day off. Being tired, hungover, or basically "not on the bounce" could get me killed. Saying it like that makes it sound like what I'm doing it really risky. In a way, it is, but at the same time, it isn't. Getting bit by the guys I'm working with right now would mean I did something really really stupid, and I would most likey deserve to die. It's not likely that I'll have any accidents this early on in my "hot" snake career, but I don't want to set myself up for disatre. So yes, I am quite busy these days, but I'm happy, considering I get sleep.

Plus, it gives me awesome stories to tell the boys back at work when they're trying to be tough and manly. I so have them beat!!

Please watch and consider the following video and do what you can to keep snakes a part of the American Pet Industry. My best friend in a boa constrictor. I don't know if it's sweet that I can love an animal so much, sad that I really seem to have no human friends (it's not like I see anyone anymore), or creepy that I talk to snakes, but regardless, it means a lot to me and many other people to house and care for these animals.

Thanks a bunch!!

My female boa, Leeloo, is 6 1/2 feet long, weighs 20 lbs at the most, and has free range of my room apparently. I'm not too worried about it however. At night, when I go to sleep, I put her in her tank, and she'll stay there for the night. Then, in the morning, I find her either in the process of squeezing out or already out and on my floor, trying to get into things. The room has been "snake-proofed" meaning that there's nothing she can really get hurt on, no way for her to get into the walls, and noway for her to get out of the room. I come home from work and play hide-and-seek with her every day. She's happy though, so I'm okay with it. The new tank I'm going to pick up hopefully today or tomorrow will be a bit small, but easy to open. She can stay in there when I'm sleeping or at work, and then when I'm hope, I'll open the lid or door (door if it's a VisionCage, which I'm hoping to pick up). She can go out and do her thing while I'm around at least so I don't have to worry about her possibly trying to kill me in my sleep (not that she would, but she's still a snake regardless).

Tomorrow, I get to go out to Laymen's to play with venomous snakes. If I don't show upfor work on Monday without a call, I'm probably dead.

That's me on the left. Next is Rob, Grant (with a shirt that states his name), and Jovan with a puppet and a magic wand. Fitting, no? I certainly think so.






On another note, one of my snakes escaped. I don't know when she got out, but for however long that's been, she had been camping out underneath my bed where my head usually is. Is this a bad thing?

New story coming out. Get excitied. I'll actually finish this one. I promise. If I don't, one of you has permission to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw.

I need to work on a story I started a little while back, and one of my tricks for digging out inspiration is music.... so I am going to randomly organize a soundtrack via the wonderful music on my MP3 player (15 tracks) and decided what happens in the story in order according to the tracks. No repeat artists, and no themes from other movies (like the Team America song)

1.Stained Android Lust
2.Better Off Razed in Black
3.Capitol Punishment Unit 187
4.UnSocialble Mindless Self Indulgence
5.Trip Like I Do Filter + The Crystal Method
6.Eyes Coralgia Nox (hey, you should go look them up!!! http://www.myspace.com/coralgianox)
7.Mantra Rhea's Obsession
8.The Host of the Seraphim Dead Can Dance
9.Strap Me Down Laether Striip
10.Dead Tomorrow Velvet Acid Christ
11.My Heart Tara Van Flower
12.Banished Hocico
13.Vanishing A Perfect Circle
14.Serene Dream Kidney Theives
15.Symphathy for the Devil Tiamat

Okay, now I have to figure out what parts can go with it.... any thoughts?

My elbows are the most awesome elbows in the world!! I'm going to post this exact same entry when I have pictures and then I will put the pictures on! Partially, I think I am 1/4 Alien.

I didn't dream anything that I can remember last night... however, the last dream I had I already wrote about... however, I have a great one that stumped some hot-shot psych-major convinced that she could interperet dreams.

Somehow, I died and went to hell. Hell consisted of a pool of fire made from painted cardboard, like the set of a school play. I had to cross a huge set of monkey bars over the "fire" in order to pass the test (didn't know what the test was for, but I had to pass it). I crossed the monkey bars with ease and found myself in a room with a two-way mirror that looked out to the "fire" pool. Satan showed up looking a lot like the cartoon-Satan from South Park, and with a high pitched voice (much like RAB Satan), he said "You passed the test! You're my new best friend! Let's have a snack." So we got onto an elevator that led up to a kitchen (who's kitchen I don't know, but there it was). On the counter were crackers and two different types of sardines: spicy and normal. Satan told me I had to have the spicy ones because he had a sensitive stomach. Then the old lady from the late-nite sex talk showed came up from the elevator with some bananas and said "Bananas emulate the smell of sex". Then I woke up. Ever since then, I haven't been able to look at bananas again. You can imagine my delight when the floor manager from work tried to down 4 in a minute...

I witnessed one of my superiors attempt to beat the world record of most bananas eaten in a minute. So far, it's three (this includes peeling the banana). He came close. He got two down completely and almost tied, but he didn't finish the third one in time. He blamed it on the bananas being too large for him to take down. My response to that was this: "Oh, I'm pretty sure I could do it with no problem. I'm a girl. I've had practice." Tell me, did I just make an anti-feminist remark on myself, or can I still chuckle at that?

So tomorrow, with my hard earned money from the previous week, i plan on paying my rent portion, buying some food, setting aside about $20 for drinking out of the house, and then I'll buy a bunch of bananas and videotape myself trying to eat as many as possible in under 60 seconds.

I have a bad feeling it might turn people on. Perhaps it can be on a Japanese fetish site?

I've been doing that thinking thing again a lot lately... and I do mean a lot. Yeah, isn't it a surprise that I can think? Who the hell would've guessed. Eh...

The other day, I woke up with an entirely new sense of duty. All my life, I've been told that I need to go to college, grow up and be really successful with a $65,000+ salary doing something I love to do. Yes. Don't we all want that? I had the realization that, although it's not completely unrealistic (because it could happen), I had to think about what i really love doing. Honestly, the things I hold closest to me don't require all of that, and a heavy load of school could even hold me back from enjoying my life, which probably won't be incredibly long (which I am okay with. Who wants to be a 90-year-old shitting in a diaper, forgetting everything that you once cared about because your brain has fallen victim to atrophy?) I don't want to love past 50. 60 tops. Maybe I do, but I don't want to live out the drooling years, needing someone to clean up after me. Yes, I could maintain a super healthy lifestyle, take lot's of pills, and work really hard to live a long "full" life, but I'm starting to think I'm not that far from it. A few months ago, I thought my happiness was snatched out from under me, and I loathed everything, even myself (and I'm still going to get that way no matter how happy I think I am. It's human). I can see now that I don't need that thing I lost. I don't think I lost anythingat all. I don't think it was really there. Maybe it was. There's no telling with things. They're pretty ambiguous, and I'll keep it that way. Working where I am now for a long time, maybe even making a career out of it, isn't glamorous at all, in any way. However, I'm content. I'm working harder to earn more money to sustain myself and my animals (going in early, staying late). Suddenly, it doesn't sound so bad. If anything, I'm the FIRST FEMALE there to build one of these:



Pretty cool, huh? I might not be, though Co-worker 1 and co-worker 2 (both 10+ year Ramtech veterans) think that's right. I'm pretty damn proud of myself! I just hope I stay in assebly. The office... does not seem like my cup of coffee.

There are more things I've been pondering lately as far as what else I want and/or need, but I doubt you've even read this far into it. If you have, than good for you! I'm not telling the world everything I think though, so you can keep wondering if you're that bored and desperate for something interesting.

Have a nice day.

Did I mention I'm dreading my hair?

Today went as usual... except for the part that involved me getting to work 2 1/2 hours late. I thought my roommate/coworker was going to be home last night. I thought incorrectly as he did not come home. I was awoken a little after nine, waited to see if I was getting picked up (which I wasn't) and proceded to get dressed. I dressed kind of pretty today, too, for what reason I do not know. I knocked on my other non-coworker roommate's door to see if I can get a ride with him and only be about an hour late. Roomie was alseep. Damn. Well I wasn't going to wake him up. I know how wonderful sleep is, and unless I'm dying, I won't awaken someone for my needs. So I walked. i walked a good hour to work, got in at about 11:30 AM, and worked. No big deal though since I had the option of staying late.

Wasn't that an interesting story? I didn't think so either!!

Sucked. I tried going out regardless of the non-existent plans, but it just ended up me spending too much money that I didn't need to be spending to go to places I didn't need to go and drink things I didn't need to drink. Yeah, I felt pretty sick on the way home, but I didn't throw up.

It wasn't the lack of good planning that made this previous night so terrible, oh no. It was the dreams. I think one of them might actually be true, and I don't know why that thought bothers me so unless I'm still in love with person in dream (who will not be mentioned). The other bits and pieces consisted of Lilith breaking out of her tank and tearing her skin of. My mother was there watching it with me, refusing to let me help my snake. Then I woke up, or i thought I did. Went and looked for Lilith, and she was dead. Ants ate her. But I had some presents. There was a little tank with about four boas in it, and another with what I first thought was a kingsnake... found out it was full of cobras. So the cobras get out, and I leave the room and find my mother (who lives with me) and say "I think someone is trying to kill me. There's a cge full of cobras in my room, and they all got out." So we're trying to wrangle up these very angry cobras, my other snakes are going everywhere, and Lilith is still dead.

Today didn't exactly turn out too great either. I thought i was going to the Medeival Fair, but I guess not. I couldn't get a phone and no one came and got me. It's just as well. I don't have much money, and I think something else is going on that might possibly cause me to be a little less happy. Whatever. Same old, same old. I must get pretty boring.

I went out and played 5th wheel again instead. You know, when you're out with someone who knows everyone and you know no one? I do that a lot these days. Everyone I want to see has more important things to do, or is difficult to get ahold of... or has a new girlfriend or some other bullshit like that. I don't care anymore. That whole "love" thing is bullshit I don't believe in anymore. You won't say anything about it because you're too scared or have nothing to say.

There is a magent on my fridge with a quote from H.S. Thompson. One of my roommates asked who he is (or was). I admit that I don't know much about him other than that he was an interesting journalist and wrote a few books (including his most popular, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas). So out of curiousity, because i don't know a whole lot about him other than that, I looked him up. There's some interesting information around his death.

It's going to be another FUN day!!

Not.

I need to work on saving money a little bit better than I have been in the past, but if I don't go crazy at the Fair this weekend (considering I go), than I should be fine and possibly have a little extra for next week. Woo! Gonna SAVE!

Other than that, I'm going to buy groceries. I need more food.

I think I've cut myself off from my family. I know it seems like a shitty thing to do, but believe me, I'm better off. I don't make a lot of money where I work, and so like many other young, Gainesville residents (most who are in college) have help from their families as far as food and rent go. Hell, I know kids that don't work and everything gets paid for. My family isn't rich, but they're certainly not poor... However, I'm not worth assisting to them. I always hear "You need to go back to college!" Okay. Unfortunately, I have a debt to my previous college that has to be paid before anything else gets done. A little help maybe? No. Mother-dearest says to work three jobs and have every other Sunday off. Right. With no car. All this I have to do on my own. Yet, for some odd reason, my mother is able to blow a ton of money on Hannah Montana tickets for my sister (and those aren't cheap). How is this fair? I'm talking about my fucking FUTURE! A concert is a concert, and the kid will tour again.

So you know what? I AM going to do it. All on my own. And so I don't have to deal with their bitching, I'm cutting them off from me. Yeah, it'll be rough, but I can think of worse things, and frankly, I'm tired of living in this for-shit town of Gainesville. It's too expensive for what it's worth.

And I'm actually making prgress getting back on my feet this time around.

AVP-R: a lot of people said it was a piece of shit. I wonder why. In fact, I wonder why movies like AVP-R, Starship Troopers, and other mindlessly violent films are thrown to the bottom of the movies pile. I went to see Freddy Vs. Jason in theaters back in the day, and some IMDB movie snob harasses me for seeing "that garbage". Makes me wonder what kind of movies he liked... Hedwig and the Angry Itch? Please. I thought that movie was boring as hell (sorry to you fans. I won't judge you by your movie taste).

So I ask this question: what makes a movie great? My definition of a good movie is "If it makes me happy, then it' good." Violence, gore, and nudity make me happy. I'm easy to please. Deep-thought movies don't bore me, but honestly, if I really want to think, I'll read a book (and I do read).

So be honest. Do you really like Donnie Darko? Well, do ya? Punk?

 

Some people watch Full Metal Jacket and want to join the army. Others take acid, watch The Wall and want to join.

Is it a bad thing that I went to goarmy.com after watching Starship Troopers?